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His greeting cards are banned from Selfridges - which is just one reason to like Simon Spicer. This article contains swearing and nudity from the start. You have been warned
Simon Spicer has made me laugh out loud in public more times than I care to remember. His rude greetings cards, such as the infamous Jesus Loves Everyone Except For You, You Cunt, which got him banned from Selfridges after an exposé on the front page of the Daily Star, have cheered up many a grim day. His Buy Your Own Fucking Lighters regularly get nicked from people I give them to and his This Man Has A Huge Cock fridge magnet complete with retro pic of cowboy with enormous rooster adorns fridges in many a middle class household. The British love a smutty joke. Simon, unsurprisingly, lists Carry On films amongst his favourite giggles and, after all, what's he doing if not carrying on the glorious tradition of Donald Gill seaside postcards? I was amazed when I found out that he was a good-looking, easy-going local bloke who does his own deliveries.
For the past six years, he's run his Kiss Me Kwik label out of a former Victorian meat smoking factory in the North Laine. "The street was riddled with typhus," he explains gleefully.
He grew up in Shoreham, and his liberal interpretation of school uniform got him banned from Kings Manor VI form. It was while working at the Sanctuary café that he started making homemade cards to sell to friends - pics of covers of 1960s children's reading scheme books complete with captions relating to more adult leisure pursuits such as gay sex, drag queens and illegal substances. His succinct ability to shock, amuse and identify a social trend in one line outshines that of many a modern sit com writer. He is adept at communicating with a generation bored with being PC and secretly lusting after a life that isn't just organic food, school runs and the Big Chill. His humour appeals to the naughty kid that lurks in us all, the one that wants to shock his parents by shouting "Poo Bum Willy" at the dinner table. Angelina Jolie bought the U Smell of Wee one when she was going out with Billy Bob. Allegedly. Britney Spears bought his Wine Me Dine Me 69 Me in Pussy, the Osbournes sent his Christmas cards to Heat and Jennifer Saunders sent some very rude ones to the AbFab cast.
Despite his obvious success - he now has an American distributor, sells to Europe and in London to Liberty, Urban Outfitters and the very upmarket Notting Hill boutique the Cross - he has no desire to move away from Brighton, where he has lived all his life. The particularly vibrant social mix of this city, with its clash of cultures and its irreverent attitude to authority, has provided him with optimum inspiration. He describes his job as the best one ever and loves working in the North Laine. "It's always sunny, everywhere's within easy walking distance, and there's a handy chip shop," he explains.
I remember standing next to a pensioner staring at a rack of his cards in Pussy. "This just shows the state of this country today," she sighed. Oh, I hope so. Anyway he's just launched a range of 'nice' cards with sweet illustrations by Kitsch 1950's illustrator Raymond Peynet. So that'll confuse them.
First style item bought: Burgundy satin bomber jacket from C&A
Last style item bought: Navy blue Ford Escort
All-time style item: Penguin orange paperbacks
Favourite Brighton style shop: Pussy
I want, I want: Nice fitted 60s suit from Prada
Pet style hate: Big fat trainers
Part of self would change: My hair back please so I could have a silly haircut
All-time style icon: Frank Sinatra
Lives: Kemp Town
Eats & drinks: Basketmakers
Food shops: Asda
Club: Dynamite Boogaloo
Loves: Kittens
Hates: Condiments in sachets
Favourite record: "So Good" by Rachel Stevens
Stockists include Pussy in Kensington Gdns and Bartholomews. www.kissmekwik.co.uk
copyright The Insight
2005
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