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EATING
OUT
Flying
higher
Jerry
Lebens eats Upstairs at The Eagle
 It
came down to this. What is the appropriate term for a Food
Reviewer's Eating Companion? It's true, after all, that
every sagger maker has his bottom knocker.
It's
tricky. Imagine FREC's torment as she (for it is she) thumbs
through her minty fresh Insight. Will cockles be warmed
and emotional depths plumbed? Or will I be sleeping with
the dog?
I know
some reviewers carry on using the same formula: the blonde
etc etc. But these relationship thingies grow and need er,
nurturing. You know the hazards. That careless slip of tongue
or typewriter. That "Birthday present, darling?…
but I thought we agreed?" moment: also known as Dead
Man Talking Syndrome. I've got to find the right words.
Or else.
The
Restaurant Upstairs at the Eagle is, well, upstairs. But
you can pick up a menu in the bar and schmooze a little
first. They actually make bread here too so the aroma as
you enter the bar is warm and cuddly (and the bread is delicious).
The menu is eclectic international with the veggie and vegan
options clearly marked. Did you know there was a Restaurant
here? Nope, nor did I. Same groovy people as run The Hop
Poles.
"Glass
of dry white with your starter? Don't mind if I do…"
blah blah blah. "Let's go upstairs… Ooooh isn't
it nice - candles, deep crimson walls and timber. Romantic."
(See gentlemen, even now, the poor male has not an inkling
of his fate.)
FREC:
"So. What are you going to call me this time?"
Me: "Pardon?"
Starters: FREC picks her way delicately through the rich
tangy mushroom and lemon pate (£3.50). I dive for
the cover afforded by a creamy caesar salad with smoked
salmon (£3.95) and imagine the short happy life of
one of the generous parmesan shavings.
Me: "What about 'Partner'?"
FREC: "We don't live in Hanover…"
Me: "Charming Assistant?"
FREC " Grrr..."
Me: "Better half?"
FREC: "Don't flatter yourself..."
Main
Course: FREC roasted goats cheese tartlet with onion marmalade
(£6.95) pine nuts, spinach, sauté spuds. Deeply
deeply tasty. As for me, rare rib eye steak with a bourguignon
sauce and sauté spuds (£7.95). To die for.
Me: "Sex kitten?", FREC: "Uh Uh."
Me: "More luscious Vicuna Peak Malbec?" (£11.00)
FREC: "Give me the bottle. Now!"
Me: "Ok. I'm sorry." (…terminal stages, gentlemen,…
nothing to be done…a sorry case)
Nice
Waiter: "Dessert , Madam?"
FREC: "No thanks, I've had enough, but what do you
have?"
Waiter: "Chocolate & Rum Mousse."
FREC: "...alright. At least I won't have to talk to
him."
Me:
"How is it?" No Answer…
Me: "How about the charming young lady provided by
the agency?"
FREC: "This is absolutely ****ing gorgeous...."
(Oy Gevalt!…Gentlemen!…it's a miracle!)
Essential
Information
Eating Upstairs at The Eagle could save your life. Service:
not included. 10% Surcharge for bookings over eight people.
Atmosphere: Cosy, lots of candles, not too busy. Good choice
for a first date.
Upstairs
at The Eagle
The Eagle Bar & Bakery
Gloucester Road, Brighton.
Tel: 01273 607765
copyright New Insight 2002
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