EATING OUT

Not just for Laughs

Ha! Ha! Café Bar
reviewed by Sarah Hendrickx

I wouldn't like anyone to think that I have some kind of fetish about toilets. I know that I always make a point of mentioning the state of the loos when I go visiting these establishments, but I think that it is important. Perhaps it's a British thing to be lavatorally obsessed, I dont know. Anyway, nothing to worry about here, because these are lovely. They've really made an effort; it's like sitting in a beach hut.

Enough, enough, on to more important matters: the staff. The male staff, to be specific, are easily the most attractive in Brighton (the women were perfectly fine too). My daughter and I both thought so, which is high praise indeed to appeal to two different generations. They were not only jolly handsome, they were friendly, funny and efficient. Who could ask for more?

Ha! Ha! is a bar with food as opposed to a restaurant with drinks. This means two things: children under 14 are not allowed inside, making it a child-free zone (Hurrah!), and secondly, you can order as much, as little or nothing to eat without getting a snotty look.

Daughter ordered the Chargrilled Ribeye and Skinny Chips with Roasted Vine Tomatoes (£10.00) (well she actually asked for a Chargrilled Rabbi but I promised that I wouldnt mention that - Oops!). I had Pan-fried Lambs Liver and Caramelised Onions with Bacon and Bubble and Squeak. Hers was fine, mine was better. I don't usually eat liver due to childhood school dinner traumas, but I am converted. It was absolutely beautiful, like a piece of steak, not gritty like I remember at all. The onion gravy was delicious and sweet. I ordered Fat Chips with it, but that was pure gluttony as it was easily enough on its own. We also had a huge plate of Mediterranean bread (£2.00), more on that later.

We finished off with Lime Tart and Clotted Cream (£3.50): light pastry and a sweet filling, and Chocolate and Macadamia Cake (£4.00) with espresso ice cream: very dark and rich with good ice cream.

I can only think of one bad point and one curious one. Bad: they dont sell Martini, my preferred tipple (if it's good enough for Shane McGowan it's good enough for me). Curious: when I ordered our bread, I was given the choice of olive oil or butter with it. I asked for butter but got olive oil. No problem really, just as nice. Two days later, I came to Ha! Ha! again and had the bread again. I asked for butter and was given olive oil. Now, either they've run out of butter and don't want to admit it or there is a conspiracy going on to reduce the amount of saturated fat consumed by the nation.

Food is served all day from breakfasts, brunch, munchies and full-blown pig-outs. Plenty of wines, coffees and anything else except Martini (gnash!). The music is funky, the crowd mixed but 20s/30s rather than younger.

You can buy the relishes, dressings and snacks to take away with you to relive the Ha! Ha! experience in the comfort of your own home. Does that go for the waiters as well?

HA! HA! Bar and Canteen
2-3 Pavilion Buildings, Brighton
01273 737080
11am-10pm Mon-Fri, 10am-10pm Sat, 10am-9pm Sun

Parisa Cafe Bar

The Grapevine

by Nigel Berman

It was a glorious sunny evening when we pitched up at The Grapevine for an early supper. It seemed like a good time to visit. The restaurant itself has a relaxed and personal feel: it is light and airy, with wooden floors, loads of plants on the window ledges, small cacti on the tables, and lots of little touches everywhere.

Manager/owner Steve used to be a TV presenter - Top Gear he tells me - and is committed to good food and an authentic Mexican eating experience - they even fly in 11 types of chilli direct from Mexico! - something of which he is justifiably proud.

While we perused the menu, one of the friendly waiters brought free warm tortillas and rancheros - a nice touch.

With enchiladas, fajitas, tortillas… you name it, the menu is pretty comprehensive. But predictably, we both wanted the same dish: Flautus Tortilla Flute filled with maple roasted parsnip and plantain, served with rice, beans and fruit salsa (£8.95), a fight which I won. Jo gave in easily and chose Quesadilla Grande with vegetable filling (£6.25). Both were huge and decorative and made us go, "Wow!" Mine was crispy parcels of plantain and parsnip with yellow rice, beans, and salad. It was mildly spiced, sweet and very yummy. Her quesadilla was equally huge - two flour tortillas pan heated, served in layers with refried beans, salad, and yoghurt. Delicious and spicy.

We could have chosen from other specials such as Spiced fillet steak (£11.95) or Pan-fried venison with chilli and pear sauce (£11.95) - all which sounded rather good.
The Grapevine is a BYO, but I was too lazy to get some wine from up the road, so we both drank iced cranberry juice, before choosing dessert. This time I gave in and let Jo have the Baked banana and chocolate chimichanga (£3.95), whilst I tucked into the Mango and honey version (£3.95). She was well pleased: "It melted, yummy" were her exact words, between mouthfuls, "just like a pudding should be." They did look and taste beautiful.

Recommended.

The Grapevine has three menus throughout the day, and is open 11-4pm weekdays,
7-12pm Friday and Saturday.

The Grapevine
29-30 North Road
Brighton
Tel: 01273 703985

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